On every diet, and during every post-diet binge, (or mid-diet binge, as the case might be) I canNOT stop thinking about food. What I'm eating, what I'm
not eating. Hating it, loving it, didn't matter, I still wanted it to go into my mouth. I jealously watched other people ate too. Make food off-limits, and I'm all over it. My food feeling? OBSESSED.
After a couple weeks of strictly NOT dieting, I'm finally coming to a point where I am enjoying food again. What an amazing relief. I've always loved food, the way it tastes, it's smell, even the way it looks. I love food. I want to eat it. The super nifty thing about the changes I'm experiencing is that I am just beginning to enjoy food again. It's wonderful. Hurray!
And, amazingly, when food is not consuming my every waking thought - when I'm going to eat again, what I'm going to eat again, can I do it, no I can't, ahhh ... must have junk food, hurry, stuff, stuff, stuff, *gasp* - I don't seem to need to eat quite so much.
There are no rules as to what I can eat or when I can eat it. I can just enjoy food again. Ahhhh ... (picture me sinking into a warm, soft bubble bath, that's how this feels - a release of the most sublime kind.)
So, there has, once again, been no binging today. I still didn't eat great, I know, but I'm beginning to think I might actually get there. Just perhaps by my own meandering route. Still, I think if I take my time, I'll want to stay once I get there.
About my baby steps for today. I had planned to up the water ante to six glasses a day, and add exercise three times a week. But I began to feel pressured and scared about the exercise, certain I would fail. So, it's not a goal, after all.
However, I did exercise today! I thought, maybe three or five minutes on the elliptical. But I did ten! Might not sound like much to you, but seriously? I'm sooo out of shape. So I am thrilled with ten. I'm going to put exercise as a possibility for me throughout the week. If I do it, great, if I don't, I won't sweat it. It is not a goal, and because of that, I will not be disappointed in myself if I don't exercise at all for the rest of the week.
The one and only goal I did set for myself this week was to drink six glasses of water today, which I did without any problem.
I thought of another baby step to add to my list too. To not eat after 7:00 p.m. That would be a good one.
