Committment Issues

I think I have committment issues.

Take this blog, for instance.

I haven't written in a long time. Why? Probably because I've got nothing good to report. Because I didn't want to come back here and tell ya'll that I'd failed. Again.

I love the new year and all that it offers. I love clean slates and fresh starts. Except where it comes to my weight, I don't like it at all. Not. At. All.

Because I've tried all the stuff and I've failed at all the stuff. Who's to say I won't just fail again?

One thing I can do though, is post to this blog. Chris and I noticed that despite us not writing anything, many people come here regularly. Why? I have no idea. But, if you're coming here, you must be looking for something, right? Comradarie? Association with people going through the same things as you? Friendship? Those things we can do.

So Chris will post each Monday, and I'll post each Thursday ~ and maybe we'll be able to throw in a few extras here and there too. That's a committment we can make.

This doesn't have anything to do with the blog, I just thought it was hysterically funny :)

As for me? Well, you've probably figured it out already. Still fat. Still feeling like a loser.

But I am not a loser. I just haven't found that thing that'll help me turn it around for my health. There, that's a resolution I can make: To change my attitude about my body in 2010. I don't necessarily have to reach a certain weightloss, I just need to learn to love myself more.

Whatever

This has been a whatever day. 

It didn't start out that way. It started out fine. But, somewhere along the way, it took a dark turn.

That family trouble I told you about the other day? It got a little yuckier today and I think that was when I turned down the broken road. My dog ate all the cookies I had made to make me feel better.

I should be grateful, right? But instead it made me really, really ANGRY.

I did not drink my water. I think I got three glasses in today. 

Food feelings?  First, strangley (the family stuff triggered ... ) FEAR, then I felt APATATHETIC, and now I just feel ANGRY.