I haven't been doing what I said I would do. But really, how is that news? When it comes to caring for myself, I'm a rotten liar and serious slacker. I can't be trusted.
I have, however, gone to karate twice this week. But that in no way excuses me because I've eaten my weight in chocolate and pretzels, I think.
But, I said, I was going to work through the Church's twelve step program for addiction and I'd better get going because they have a lot of scriptures for us to cover.
To reiterate, the first step is:
Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addiction and that your life has become unmanageable.
The Church calls this first step,
Honesty.
The first scripture they recommend is 2Nephi 26:22:
And there are also secret combinations, even as in times of old, according to the combinations of the devil, for he is the founder of all these things; yea, the founder of murder, and works of darkness; yea, and he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever.
Do you know what a flaxen cord is? It's a silky, golden rope made from a plant with delicate flowers. It's appearance would appear benign, it's texture soft and luxurious, it would slip around your neck and it would be desirable.
One string of flax is weak. A few are still weak. But many, bound together, are terribly strong and are virtually unbreakable. It's been used as a hangman's noose.
So the devil slips a flaxen cord about our necks and pulls us down into hell. For an addict, that cord is easy to create, easy to slip into place. The devil simply needs to figure out what is most desirous to us, what flaxen cord would we bend our necks for, inviting its silky softness against your tender skin.
For me, and, likely for you too, it's food. Imagine it: soft and smooth, it melts in our mouths like heaven itself. Chocolate. Or salty and crunchy we can munch and crunch it and exert all our feelings into the punch of each crunch.
But with each and every bite beyond what is healthy and good for us, we are allowing ourselves to be drawn down into hell.
We think it is our own personal hell, that we alone created it for ourselves. We think that because then we are free to punish ourselves for being so very bad.
But in all honesty, we are nothing. We are weak. It is the devil who has the power to deceive. It is him who desires to trap us by our own choices. We have bowed our necks so the flaxen cord can be slipped in place. However, it is the devil who holds the cord.
Recognizing that the devil holds the power, not you, that it is him who plots your destruction using your addiction as the weapon, will free you to fire up some good old righteous indignation.
You no longer need to punish yourself for being a bad, bad over-eater-person. Put the blame where it belongs. And get that cord off your neck.
At least ... that's what this verse says to me. What do you think?
