From Prayer to Burger King

Ali was wondering how I am doing. So here it is folks. The truth. Last week I was reading Ali's post about asking Heavenly Father for help in this whole process. So I decided to give it a whirl. One night I was feeling really down on myself and beating myself up for all my lack of control I have in my life....related to food. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am the kind of person that once I say I am going to do something...I get...it...done. I am one serious booty kicker when it comes to all aspects of my life. Except Food!

So, I am laying in bed after an especially long day of emotional eating and realize that I can't do this alone. In my nightly prayers I pray and ask for help in this whole process. I am ready to conquer the world. Ummm.....errrr....not quite. I say my prayer, go to sleep, and 12 hours later I find myself at Burger King eating a Whopper Junior Value Meal. Huh...that didn't quite go as planned now did it? Nathan was out of school and wanted to go and play on the new play structure there, so of course we had to go and partake of the Burger King Goodness right? *sigh* I am sitting there wondering how I have no will power, even after praying, to even last one...single...day! Maybe I am not ready to commit? Maybe I am a total loser? Maybe I hide behind my fat, and will always be the funny fat girl? I don't know. I just know, that for now, I am not getting it done. I can say that things are more stressful because of my mother in law's cancer, but when is life not going to be stressful?

As I was sitting at my table in Burger King I was listening to a table full of skinny girls. They all had a couple of kids and were just adorable and so skinny! And here they were talking about losing weight. One girl said, "I need to lose 10 pounds! But if I lost 15, I would be like totally anorexic looking". Yeah...me too. NOT! 15 pounds would not even make a dent in my physique. It is interesting how we are all obsessed about our bodies and how we look. It is hard for me to fathom why those women would feel that way being a size 6, but hey...who am I to judge? Heartfelt prayer for help to Burger King 12 hours later. That has to be some kind of record.