Monday, September 27, 2010

Take That

Today I had a realization. Except unlike most aha moments when you suddenly realize how to make something better in your life, this little brain blast left me feeling pretty darn depressed.

I am not disciplined.

And it's not just my health, either. It's pretty much everything.

Oh, sure. I'm a grown up and certain things need to be done when you're a grown up. I can pay my bills on time, keep my house reasonably well, and all that stuff.

What I don't seem to be able to do is keep any promises to myself.

I say I'm going to write, but I don't. I'm going to eat well, exercise. But I don't.


I can fulfill my promises to other people ~ why can't I pay myself this simple courtesy?

This is definitely one of those "things that make you go hmm" moments. But now that I know where my shortcoming lies, I can face it head on, look it in the eye, and work toward defeating it. 

Take that you lazy pansy!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Ready, Set ...

And, I didn't go.

See, this is why Skinny Man is not the best partner in all of this. He promised he'd walk with me, but he had a crisis come up at work and he said he couldn't go. Nevermind that Monday's walk was only half a mile and would probably only take ten minutes or something. But did I go without him? Um, no.

And I didn't go without him on all the other walks either. But there's still time to try again, so I'm trying again this week.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Exercising With a Goal in Mind

Well, so far I've pretty much sucked at making health and fitness goals, right? So what better time to set yet another goal. And publish it here. Of course. Because I love public humiliation.

Except for that little hope that maybe, just maybe, this'll be the time that I actually do what I set out to do.

Skinny Man has committed to do this particular plan with me--not that that'll increase my chances of success at all--he's even worse just as bad as me.

But, at least I'm not giving up. I'm gonna try. Again.

So, today is Monday. I found this plan in the latest edition of Family Circle magazine, and I'm starting on my plan today. I found a race coming up in seven weeks (this plan is for six weeks) that Skinny Man and I are going to do. It costs money. Hopefully that'll be enough incentive to motivate him--and that'll be enough to motivate me in turn.

It's not a Komen race or anything, which I would have preferred, but it's in the right time frame so it'll still be worth it.

Want to join me?


5K Slim-Down Plan (Family Circle Magazine, Oct 1. 2010)
WK
MON
TUES
WED
THURS
FRI
SAT
SUN
1
.5-mile walk
Cross-train 30 minutes (swim, bike, hike, elliptical, yoga)
1-mile walk
Rest
1.5-mile walk
1.5-mile walk
Rest
2
1.75-mile walk
Cross-train 30 minutes
1.5-mile walk
Rest
1.75-mile walk
1.75-mile walk
Rest
3
2-mile walk
Cross train 30 minutes
2-mile walk
Rest
2.5-mile walk
2.5-mile walk
Rest
4
2-mile walk
Cross train 30 minutes
2.5 mile walk
Rest
3-mile walk
3-mile walk
Rest
5
2-mile walk
Cross-train 30 minutes
2.5-mile walk
Rest
3-mile walk
3-mile walk
Rest
6
2.75-mile walk
Cross-train 30 minutes
2.5-mile walk
Rest
Rest
5K Day!
Rest

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Yes, I'm Still Alive & Yes, I'm Still Fat

Sad, but true. I'm not doing Nutrisystem anymore, I'm just . . . living.

Does this make me a big, fat (haha) loser?
Maybe. That's why I'm back here. Because I need you. I need to be accountable to someone, and the people in my real life probably wouldn't appreciate my constant whining about my body. Because I think about it all the time.

You look at me and I'm thinking, "Wait. How fat do I look at this very moment?"

My husband puts his arms around me in bed and his hand grazes the flab at my stomach. I stop breathing. Belatedly, I suck in my gut--but it's too late because he's already felt it. And I wait. I'm wondering, how grossed out is he?

He still loves me. And my friends don't say anything. And in general I still feel decently good about myself. Maybe better than I felt this time last year. But I'm still hyper aware. Still need to improve my treatment of myself. Still looking for a better, healthier me.

If you're here, how are you doing? Where are you in your weight-loss journey?